The Unutterable Name

Just as this human being commences life attached to its earthly mother via the umbilical cord, so is it also completely "in line" - spiritually - with its source energy.

Let us imagine this state of being for a moment - in no terms other than experience.

It is a state of pure being - experienced only as pure feeling - the full current of this energy flow, with no resistance - all energy gates in this flow are wide open.

Here is an artistic impression - looking from the outside - a representation of this - which does very little to help us experience what this state must actually feel like.
Just like the unborn, the only reality we can ever know is contained entirely in a world of feeling - a feeling received into, registering upon and known by consciousness - instantaneoulsy.

All the while that this full current of energy is being experienced - this little human being will be feeling a total and radiant joy - its spiritual heart is wide open, consumed with utter bliss - the upper gates will be wide open saturating the mind with the light of its own consciousness - and the being is absolutely "in line" - in the stream of this energy - experiencing it with no resistance whatsoever.
It will be experiencing pure, unadulterated consciousness - pure and utter bliss - but, of course - it will not be able to relish the experience.

Isn't that rather curious?

Indeed - you see, what is entirely lacking from this little human being - is an objective sense of its own existence - at present, its existence is purely subjective - it is pure experience.

This little being has not yet opened up its eyes - it is not yet aware of the world of form - its existence up till now is entirely internal - experiential - a state which will not actually change, but will merely become rather confused.

The experiential state of unrecognised joy will continue for a short while, even after birth into the world of external light and autonomy - its existence commences as an individual form when the umbilical cord is cut.
Gradually, the consciousness is entranced by the appearance through the senses of an apparently "other" world - a process of seduction that usually causes complication and confusion.
A world of different sensations - that is seen, heard, tasted and grasped. 

Still one singular experience for a while, reacting directly and instinctively to the needs of the body - displaying contentment or distress - demonstratively - to alert those whose nurturing care it depends upon.
Reactions that are hard-wired into its brain - crying - gurgling - smiling - suckling - defecating.

All this time - every second - the brain (unconsciously experienced by the mind) - is programming itself - data is streaming in constantly, the fresh and raw material that the mind will produce some sort of reality map from.
The brain, completely unguided and unaided, tunes in to this new environment - deducing the constants, the variables - adapting it all into a framework of balance, an intrinsic understanding of the environment it perceives.

Stage one - stage two builds upon this - with increasing feedback, an unconscious understanding of its host.

On top of the already pre-programmed instinctive level of the brain, which is experienced as a cue for reaction at some level of awareness, there now comes the level of specific programming - unique to this little being and the relationship of itself in its environment. 

Increasingly - awareness is being attracted from the core, as attention is occupied more and more with the process of understanding the busy and absorbing stream of data entering from the senses.
Experience is still basically bi-polar - comfort or distress - but the cues for reaction originate now largely from the body.
However - and importantly - this comfort and distress is now entering the feedback loop in the understanding of the host - comfort and distress, being recognised and vaguely registering as a polarity of sensation.
The awareness of the experience of the host is inevitably re-absorbed and contributes to the growing second layer of mind - in a bi-polar fashion.
This is not to imply that separate areas of the brain are involved - but that the formation of balanced understanding, relating to the host and its environment is being accumulated, unconsciously, as positive and negative sensations - positive and negative reactions - in some essential way.
In the embryonic psyche of this new being, two distinctly opposing collections of impressions are forming their independent images - and critically, they are both in reference to the whole being.

Considering the nascent state of bliss experienced by this being, the "comfort body" being formed within the psyche aligns naturally.
As such, its received impressions are not as starkly pronounced, merging imperceptibly within the background of comfort experienced since conception.
However, in contrast, the "distress body" readily aligns with all the latent, hard-wired & instinctive reactions, of fight and flight, of fear and inner constriction - and activates these in association.
Being the less consciously pronounced experience of the two - the "comfort body" really gets no encouragement in its formation - where conversely, the "distress body" soon overtakes and pushes the other more and more to the background - becoming, even unconsciously, the main body of association within the growing psyche.

Stage three - is the conscious acknowledgement by the individual of itself.
The balancing in the environment, the understanding of itself, language association with objects - have advanced sufficiently for there to become a crystalisation of clear understanding - placing the individual being, together with a name, in a new area of conceptualisation as "me."

From this point onwards, this "me" will lay claim to all experiences - usurping ownership from awareness - and associating them from the central perspective of this conceptualised identity, which in turn is attributed as being synonymous with the form and sensation of its physical body - already growing to have an unconscious reflexive, cognitive bias towards the impression of restriction and negativity.

A most ironic stage in our lives - for although awareness is still the only real experience that this being is having - in common with many other misapprehensions which occur - the power of subtlety is hidden to our understanding.
We are readily attracted to the busy, to the noisy, to the garish, to the outspoken - we isolate and ignore background and give validity to foreground - we become blind to consistency and constancy.

And so it is within our understanding of ourselves - a curious phrase - a conundrum, a paradox in itself - which illustrates our human predicament.

Our minds become exactly like prisms - refracting one singular experience of awareness - into a multiplicity.
This is how our minds work.
The differential of all data received through the senses becomes segregated into distinctly separate, conceptualised identities.
Differences of form - differences of light - differences of sound, taste and sensation - and - critically - because of feedback from the "host" - even the host has become conceptually distinct from its environment - and now, increasingly, the different feelings experienced within this host also become compartmentalised - basically pleasure and pain - extending upon the two polarised foundations of comfort and distress.

Quite a long journey already, from that state of innate bliss - being totally "in-line" - with no resistance - to a state where the being is now relating through a prism into a hall of mirrors - that one singular beam of white light being reflected, refracted - intercepted by intimate phantoms inhabiting the landscape of the mind - token representations, placebo interpretations, superficially acquired idealisations - ephemeral and abstract in substance, but permanent and concrete in influence - directly and inescapably modulating the one experience of awareness - into a distortion - but a distortion that is elevated to the "real" by the connivence of belief - the direct consequence of the "me" in its constant quest for balance, stability, happiness and security.

Qualities which are naturally resident within the true core of this being, a being that has forgotten that it is essentially just a feeling - allowing that feeling to suffer all manner of disruption from its own, honest state.
A state that can now only be expressed through bewilderment or compromise. 

Bewilderment or compromise - that unfortunately can deteriorate considerably on encountering and exchanging with other states of bewilderment and compromise.

When bewilderment and compromise go forth and multiply - they can only coexist in a relationship with each other built upon the most unstable foundations.
In order to protect and secure their own pleasure, however - pleasure tenuously connected to the (by now subliminally innate) bliss that is now buried deep within - force, intimidation, threat, coercion - all manner of external manipulation are extended - openly and covertly - extrovertly and introvertly - to prevent social chaos and to pretend stability and progress.
Life becomes suspended in the aspic of conceptualisation, and is lived from the perspective of an inert card-carrying and card-shuffling token, haunted by a now unfamiliar ghost of real sensation.

All this is accepted and endorsed by blind consensus - supported and historically excused as being normal. 
True value has long been deserted, along with our true and transparently honest understanding - that we are no more than a feeling.
An indigenous joy that is conspired upon to be supressed, by consensus and by our own inevitable journey into form.

However, looked upon in this way, it is obvious that we are all quite blameless - and despite the intrusive modulations that insinuate themselves on our core - that essential core is resilient and still as pure, with an honesty that can be returned to.
Also apparent, is the absolute liberty inherent in our being at this very moment.
A total freedom from the inverted burdens of conceptual morality, a space for our own heartfelt conclusions - based not upon consensus, or upon our own intimidation of ourselves - but upon a sensitivity to our own discovered essence, and an appreciation of this human birthright.

To intimately connect with that sublime source of life within ourselves - that sensuous, vibrant, intelligent, abundance of living energy - to connect our attention in a gentle focussing upon the extravagantly simple sensation of being - a feeling which totally contradicts any analytical complexity we may care to imagine - for we are born as whole creatures.
A feeling which will automatically connect us with a heart full of longings for peace, tranquility and perhaps a distant memory of the utter bliss that was our first ever experience.
Longings which are themselves the very seat of their own fullfillment.

Yet now - it will be different - we will be able to relish the feeling, and savour the thoughts that this feeling inspires.
We will be able to consciously suspend ourselves in the stream of life - creating a different kind of feedback for ourselves - of gratitude, eternal and unanswerable wonder and glory - beyond any of the tokens, unaffected by the bland taste of placebos - in a realm as far different from conceptualisation as it is possible to get - the realm of nameless reality - the foundation of our being - the same foundation as all being.

The unutterable name - that undividable feeling.

The supreme mystery - the miracle of existence.

Some call it GOD - some call it Self - some, just experience it as a peace beyond understanding.

When even these names themselves already impose between our attention and the actuality of the experience - surely anything further away from even these choices - is a complication too far, an intellectual & perhaps unnecessary conceit of our own invention?

Peace and love to all - and true liberty. 

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